The Approach of My Angel (Cont'd)
Before I come into this paragraph I would like to write what Father Marie-Eugene says in his book, "I am a Daughter of the Church" about demoniac attacks.
"What is at stake in this encounter between the human and the divine, the purity of God and the soul's impurity, is too important for the devil not to intervene in it with all the power at his disposal. Yet a little while and the soul purified by the dark night will be secure against his attacks and will be to him a terrible thing. Hence the devil makes use of the advantages he still possesses over it because of its imperfections and its attachments to the sensible. Saint John of the Cross notes that 'the evil one takes his stand, with great cunning, on the road which leads from sense to spirit."' (Living Flame, st.iii; Peers, HI, 83)
"The darkness of these regions, the soul's disarray, disconcerted as it is by the newness of its experiences and the intensity of its suffering, create conditions particularly favourable to the interventions of the prince of darkness and of lies."
"By certain exterior signs of calm and of deep silence in the senses, the devil easily guesses that the soul is receiving divine communications. Our mystical doctor says:
'Of those favours which come through a good angel God habitually allows the enemy to have knowledge: partly so that he may do that which he can against them according to the measure of justice, and that thus he may not be able to allege with truth that no opportunity is given him for conquering the soul, as he said concerning Job (Dark Night, Bk. II, xxiii; Peers, 1,449)
"Such are the facts in the problem of the dark night of the spirit, and the causes that produce it. This night is an encounter, or rather a real combat, organized by loving Wisdom. God establishes His perfect reign in the soul only after taking away its unfitness for the divine and conquering all the forces of evil that have any power over it."
This was so that the reader would understand better why God allows Satan to intervene.
Just after this delightful day I had spent with our Father in Heaven, all the fury of hell broke out! In a very savage way Satan attacked me. The first thing I heard from him sounded more like the growl of a wild animal than a voice. That growl seemed to say, "GOOOO!" I guessed that "Go" meant that I should stop having communications with my angel and with God. All distressed I turned around in search of my angel, but Satan seemed to have taken all the space and with great hatred began to call me all sorts of names. He produced such anguish and such terror in my soul that I could have died had it not been that God had a plan for me. I never sensed such fury before. I ordered him to go away and this seemed to raise his fury even more. It was like the fury of a madman. Fuming with rage and like someone out of his mind he growled, his voice was very hoarse when he said: "EH? withdraw from here you b..., withdraw, or else, fire in hell does the rest!" I heard myself answering him: "No!" With my "No" I meant that I will NOT LEAVE the presence of God nor my angel. Then he snapped back that I was cursed and called me all sorts of dirty names.
It is difficult to explain this anguish the devil can infuse in the soul. This phenomenon that occurs is something that although your logic tells you you're not mad, you yourself yet cannot control. This anguish used to come in waves, as if Satan himself were not enough, he sent other demons too to attack me. When they used to attack me it was something frightening growing within me, nothing to do with exterior fear. It was a feeling I was unable to push away.
My poor angel, in these terrible moments, moments that made me believe sometimes I would lose my mind, could only tell me one word, "PRAY!" I prayed and begged my angel to help me come out of this experience, for it seemed to last forever.